funnytwittertweets:

halfhardtorock:

ndiecity:

Babygirl you are preventing me from fast traveling

wallaceandgromit:

Shout out to bread and also olive oil

weaver-z:

weaver-z:

I was talking about Goosebumps with a friend tonight and found the greatest tagline for any work of horror ever

I’m OBSESSED with how quickly this gets to the point. Welcome to Dead House. It will just kill you.

larkstonguesinaspicpart1:

the funniest thing i’ve ever heard on a multiplayer online game period was when I was playing competitive overwatch and this dude took THE LOUDEST AND LONGEST bong hit i have ever heard and then said completely without context “my mom’s boyfriend is pressing assault charges against me.” “why” “for assaulting him” 

toastpotent:

demilypyro:

demilypyro:

Nothing as degrading as fumbling around trying to find the lever that changes the settings on an unfamiliar office chair

Nothing as degrading as fumbling around trying to find the lever that opens the trapdoor to an unfamiliar shark pool

thatsbelievable: